Direction

Recently, I’ve just been existing, sitting in the passenger seat of the car, driving through the days of my life.

In school, although I didn’t enjoy it, it gave me something to look forward to. Moving towards something gave me a sense of purpose.

So after dropping out of school, it felt good not moving towards something that wasn’t for me. But it didn’t feel good staying in one spot, treading water, getting tired, and sinking.

Yes, I kept up with the gym and jiu-jitsu, but that was only keeping me afloat.

I was once told to choose a path. If I didn’t like it, choose another one. If I didn’t try anything and just stand at the fork in the road, I wouldn’t get anywhere.

But at the fork of indecision, I get stuck because it’s more like 100 forks of decision at my feet. It’s overwhelming but also comfortable because there's no risk being taken.

When I chose the path of university and left Bermuda after my gap year, I realized how much I didn't miss math, and what I was learning wasn’t worth the money spent.

I lived a new reality for those few months. Although I took a step back by dropping out and becoming a semi-couch potato again, I've also taken a leap forward.

This path was a test to discover who I am, and the failure of this plan has actually pushed me towards a life I truly want.

So I’ve taken the first step down a new path, full of my passions and interests (that I’ve discovered with much guidance), watching the worry of risk and indecision fade behind me as a new life-altering journey begins.