Let go; hold on?

When is it time to let go? How do we know when we should hold on?

2024 has been a fast moving year. It was busy, loud, nauseating, exciting and wonderful.

Everything I experienced this year helped me grow into the person I am today. I cried a LOT. Laughed more than I thought I could, met some amazing people, and had conversations that made me question who I am and if thats someone I’m proud of. I learned to let things that upset me go. Why keep something rotten if it makes you sick?

Going through 2024 (even with its gut wrenching moments) I was happy with the way things were going. Since graduating, I’ve been swimming in open waters, unsure what to do with all my freedom. I had no structure or path. But I'm happy it turned out that way, because it helped me to create something out of nothing. To keep me afloat. Going through 2024, I learned from people in their lighthouses on the way. Whether they had their lights on or not, I learned much from the towers they built. 

In 2024 I was shown what it’s like to be seen for who I am and not for what I can offer. To be seen for my love of writing and my inability to stop talking, not how well my shorts fit or how nice my thighs are. That helped me understand what kind of person my boyfriend is, and how it feels to be truly loved.  

I loosened my grip on things that were slipping through my fingers, begging to be set free. I let them loose. I tightened my grip on things I’ve taken for granted, brushed past, and I've thanked them for sticking by me through everything. No matter what, they had always held me close even when I didn't do that for them. 

There were moments I felt isolated and trapped, but hard times passed and life continued. It always continues, year after year, and things get better. Bad things happen and they're not to be ignored. Although they aren't enjoyable, they're still a part of life. No matter how dark times get, good times will follow.

It was a year of goodbyes and understanding that some things don't last forever, but other things last beyond infinite lifetimes. 

I'm forever grateful to 2024. It was a lot. I'm so proud of the things I've achieved within the year and how they'll continue in the following years to come. 

Let the wind take what you can no longer carry, but keep your roots deep.