Push and Pull

There's a certain pull that I feel at times, as if I'm standing in a muddy river going against the current. Because I refuse to go with the flow, I feel sticks and rocks passing by me, leaving tiny scratches on my skin.

I know it would be easier to lay back and rest my head in this vicious current of relaxation, but there's something pushing me upstream – a dream that I can turn into reality. So I put one foot in front of the other, and I walk.

Whenever I feel tired and discouraged, I sense upstream fish slapping the back of my head, reminding me to keep going and keep pushing. These fish are my dad, introducing me to jiu-jitsu; my mom, supporting anything I do; my stepmom and siblings, wanting me to be the best version of myself, and me.

Because no matter how much someone talks to me, I have to be the one to make a change, to get back up and keep walking. I know I'm not ready to give up yet, and I'm responsible for making my dreams come true.

So I thank my dad for introducing me to jiu-jitsu, but being on my own now, I thank myself for going to class, especially when I didn't want to. I thank my stepmom for helping me start my blog, but I thank myself for taking the time to type

my thoughts into words.

Because I know that if I let myself go, relaxation will be nice in the moment, but opportunity will slip through my fingers like grains of sand.