Remember

I was travelling through a tunnel with a bright torch, lighting my path ahead and guiding me forward. Until the world around me shook and the cave surrounding me threatened to collapse. The aftershock of it all sent me to my knees, knocking the wind out of me. I must have hit my head too, because when I opened my eyes the torch had diminished down to embers. 

Scrambling to the dying flame, I noticed the darkness that now threatened to consume me. 

Lay down, relax. Succumb to the numbness. 

And so I did. 

Or at least I tried. 

The remaining embers popped and crackled, and I could've sworn they were telling me; 

Get up. Keep going. Do not let this define you. Prove to yourself that you can do this. Show yourself you are stronger than this. 

I ignored the torch, waiting for it to burn out. I knew it would soon. 

But it didn't. The noises only grew louder, in protest to my decision to give up. 

I know you’re hurting, but you have to keep going. Moving forward will hurt, but staying still will destroy you.

So I sat up, stifled my pounding head and bloody knees, and I began to crawl. Rocks pierced my skin as I dragged myself along, making me feel a nearly unbearable pain. But that pain, that feeling, was a reminder that the numbness had not yet found me. 

I crawled because I couldn't yet stand, or maybe I didn't want to. But my time for crawling was nearly spent, because my pain had faded and the darkness began to claim my fingertips, creeping up my arms and getting closer to my heart. 

I looked to the embers and they said clearly now; Get up. 

I looked at my hands, what the darkness had claimed. I thought to myself, what would happen if I just let it take over? What if I let it reach my heart and turn me to stone? But the flickering light called me to it once again. I looked at my torch and the relentless specks of light it held. 

The embers were made of logic not feeling, yet filled with understanding and void of judgment. They knew what I needed and that I had gone astray, but they refused to give up and pushed me along anyway. They knew I needed time to rest my wounds, but that this dark corner was not the place.

So I rose to my feet, and I took a step.