See Yourself As I Do

I wish you could see yourself the way I do,

to see the beauty and not what you need to "improve."

I wish you could understand that the insecurities you hold aren't waiting to unfold. Your grip on them, with white knuckles to keep them hidden, only exhausts you. They aren't trying to run away and show the world who they are. They belong to you. They were born in the back of your mind and grew up under your skin, raising the hair on your arms and the speed at which your heart beats.

You think you're not good, but you're great. But it's hard to admit that if you're afraid. People are scared of someone who knows who they are, so they call you self-centred and vain. They point out things you can't control, so you spiral down into the drain of "Am I good enough?"

Your body hair,

Your belly,

Your nose,

Your hands,

Your skin,

Your height,

Your width,

Your pimples.

Everything is suddenly too big or too small, too hairy and noticeable.

And it's all you can think about.

How you think none of you is perfect, and everything is wrong. But what's the goal you're trying to reach? Is it someone with different genes—someone you've never met or understand? Is it someone who's been consistent for years? Is your expectation to get there in a day or a week? What are you demanding from yourself?

Are you sitting there, ruminating, contemplating what you could be?

When you could be, instead, roaming free?

Do you do these things because you're being self-critical, or because you can't really see?

Do you know what would happen if you could see yourself the way I do?

You wouldn't recognize the person staring back at you.

Some people have not discovered what self-love is. We understand love for others. How important it is to keep them safe, protected, healthy, and happy. But what about you? If you'll bend over backwards for someone else, why won't you do it for yourself?

The cycle of negativity is so easy to reside in. Every amazing thing you do is shoved aside because it's something that should  be done. You don't see it as you rising above, or you pushing through. It's shrugged off or "no big deal" because all those negative things are a bigger deal to you. They consume more energy, more time, more space.

So I want you to find a mirror and look at your face. Tell me what you see. Not through your eyes, but through mine.

Tell yourself something kind. Don't hide behind a joke or snide comment. Look in the eyes of the person you live with and tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them that you're learning to keep them safe, protected, healthy, and happy. Tell them that after carrying stress for everyone else, it will take you time to love them as you do others.

To carry your love one step further.

I hope one day you'll see yourself the way I do.

And someday, I hope I can do the same thing too.