The Raindrop and the Leaf

Grief is knocking at my door again, waiting to come in. I look around to see it's almost time for her to collect another person I love. It was expected, but I still hoped for a few more months. So grief walked away for a while. I got my wish. But now she's back and she's not going anywhere until the door opens.

I know no one physically lasts forever, but they live on through love and memories. I know the time is near, but I don't want it to be. So I find a way to accept what is going to happen, and I learn to say goodbye.

because saying goodbye is better than living in hiding, buried in regret.

--

As rain falls on leaves, it lingers at the very edge of them. Holding on before it’s time to let go. 

How can I let go of something that has come into my life and made it so much brighter? Showing me what it means to live in fluidity, making me shine as bright as the sun does.

When you know someone your whole life, it feels like they’ll be with you forever. They watch you grow up and bloom into someone new, always wanting and seeing the best in you, even when you can’t. 

But as decades go by, you feel their droplet of water slowly slipping away from you. It makes you wonder why they're moving on so quickly… how they could expect you to spring up all alone. When all they’ve done since you met was nourish and silently strengthen you with their love. 

How am I expected to live without them when I’ve spent my entire life with them? How can I live without someone I’ve always loved?

Confused, I asked the raindrop this question. “Why are you leaving me so soon? You’re supposed to be here forever.”

The raindrop then replied,

“Just because I am leaving you doesn’t mean I don't love you. I’ve loved you from the moment I rested my face upon yours. You are my leaf, and you always will be. I love you from the sky down to the core of the earth. Although our time may have been short, you’ve shown me that you do not just fall in life. From the dark cloud in which I came, I discovered the sun will always shine again. Precious moments of life and love catch you on your way down. Making the terrifying experience of life astonishing. Memorable. Beautiful. As the sun shines through you, and when it’s rays multiply through your body, shining on the people that surround you. It brings out the best in them, and I’m so lucky I had the chance to see you all shine. Brighter than I ever could.

So although gravity has decided it’s my time to go, know that I’ll never be gone. Love does not disappear. Not when it is true. As the sun shines through you, remember she provides the light, but what you do with it is up to you. The sun will set, as I will fall, but what you do in the dark will determine whether you lift yourself up or hold yourself down. Whatever you do, know my love is all around. When you laugh and when you cry, my love will surround you until the end of time. You are my leaf and I am so proud. I love you sweetheart.”

and with that, the raindrop said goodbye. The leaf shook in its absence, and in the dark she cried.

But the sun rose again, and after a long while, she lifted her head up to the sky. 

Hold on until it's time to let go