Friendship

Friendship is such a big part of who we are. It’s the company we keep around us. It’s what and who we talk about. The secrets we share and the secrets we keep. It’s picking each other up when we fall, brushing our knees and our tears, and being able to laugh about it all. It’s not always perfect, because we’re bound to annoy each other. We’re only people, after all, and we’re learning. But we’ll always be there, no matter how mad, because no one wants to be alone when they’re sad.

Which is why friendships are so important. Through girlhood, boyhood, and adulthood. Through every shareable moment in life. And we can’t take it for granted.

Because when you grow up, you may realize that not all friendships are lifelong, no matter how strong.

They can burn bright in the beginning, but without a strong foundation, all it takes is one gust of wind to blow it into oblivion. As I close my eyes, I still see the fire. I feel the warmth on my skin and how it traveled to my heart. But when I open my eyes, I’m reminded of the breeze and think it’s unfair that I still freeze. When I should move on as they have, I foolishly hope for another chance. Not at the friendship that once was, but a chance to understand that what we had was in the past, and that there is much more for both of us than the crass, barren beach in which we stand.

Some friendships are gifted at a young age, and they burn bright for years, built on the stable foundation of group projects, recess, and even detention. But when we throw our caps to the sky, it also means goodbye. Friendships are fluid, and it’s okay if they fade out after grade school. When timetables change, sometimes you do too. I’ve come to learn that it’s not something to be mad at or grip onto with white knuckles. It’s something to accept and let go. Because if you try to force something that shouldn’t be, the strain will tear it apart piece by piece.

When you step into the world as an individual, not confined by school or things you’re used to, you’ll find people, or maybe they’ll find you.

Maybe at your first job you’ll meet someone with the same birthday, or in college you’ll bond over your professor’s moustache, or at the gym you’ll find someone who will keep you company while they’re an ocean away.

And it’ll probably be someone you would have never gotten along with in school, or maybe someone who graduated before you started. But something else will draw you together.

And it will have been worth the wait.

I have a few friends. Some I talk to every day, others a few times a year, and some I don’t talk to at all. I’ve tried to hold onto things that were worn out and got myself hurt in the process. It took me a very long time to understand that I have to let things run their course and understand that what’s done is done. But I’m stubborn, so I keep some things in my back pocket, and they weigh me down. One day I will learn to let them go. But until then, I will focus on the people that inspire me to grow.

And I guess that’s just a part of growing up.