Compare and Contrast

This topic has been discussed a million times, but I'm ready to add my two cents to the pile.

Comparing and contrasting myself to others has been the most draining experience I've had. "Look at her," "Look at me," "She's so lucky," "Why am I built like this?" When I compared myself to others, I was always putting myself down.

I've always been self-conscious about my appearance and weight.

When I was younger, I was one of the bigger girls in my class. However, I didn't really care until I got to high school. I started to wonder why I wasn't as skinny as the other girls and why I wasn't shaped like an hourglass.

My curiosity turned into a cycle of "I'll start next week" and "I'm really doing it this time." Going to the gym for a week and then not going for three was the most frustrating game of yo-yo there is.

But the longer I waited and the more I compared, the more comfort I found in food and scrolling than in the gym.

And the more I absorbed people's words.

However, as soon as I focused on myself, the only comparing and contrasting was between myself. Where I was and where I'm headed. Where I started and how far I've come.

I'm a bit beefier than I was in high school, but with that change came strength. This makes me so happy. I've learned to embrace and appreciate my body instead of finding anything wrong with it.

It can be hard to accept yourself (if you already do, power to you) because "big is bad" and "you have to be small to be pretty" are difficult messages to hear repeatedly, especially when you're trying to figure yourself out.

Just remember that literally everyone is different, and putting yourself first doesn't make you selfish or a bad person. It makes you human.